So.
Saw Brad at the games yesterday.
I spell AWKKWARDD with two ks and two ds cuz it was THAT BAD. First he ignored me, then came over and sat right in front of me, like he used to when we were still "together" I could smell his cologne, which, by the way, is AMAZING. And guys who smell good always get to me!
But I was laying in bed last night thinking about it...and I realized that God doesn't let things happen without reason behind them, right? So maybe it hurts, but you know there must be lesson mixed in there too....I'm leaving in August, and I will be very far away....meeting all kinds of new people...so getting serious now would not be a good idea, right? Plus, I worried way too much. I think maybe another lesson in there was "Give it all to Jesus to carry, or you'll never be completely happy." Now, I know that doesn't mean live like hippie with no worries or cares or anything...it just means, lighten up! God makes things happen for a reason...it does no good brooding over things or wishing you could go back in time and do something different, because you can't. Go out and do something productive, don't just moan and groan about the "woulda-shoulda-couldas"
I think I'm going to try to make that my motto from now on...Everything happens for a reason, so stop worrying about it and give it all to God to take care of. If he cares about the lilies of the field and the sparrows, don't you think he cares about you too?
gOOD nEWS...cHARIOT'S a-COMIN'.
All Us Kids Who Went...from top, left to right:Katie
Shelby, Maggie
Sam, James, me
So, forseriously foreals, CHRISTeens 2008 WAS AMAZING.
l0l, I didn't cry...
...FOR ONCE!!
But Samantha, one of my super-duper good friends from the youth group, went down front and asked for prayer requests...she was really confused about some stuff...and I'm so thankful God let her come...and equally thankful God allowed her friend, Katie, to get to come as well...man that girl is so cooooo-el!!!
We had a blast, made some pretty amazing shirts...I'll get some more pics up ASAP...my camera broke, so I'm stealing them from Katie and Sam and Maggie and the Shelbster, HAHA, l0l.
The theme was "Legos," talking about not being able to build on any foundation but Christ...1 Corinthians 3:10-11.... Paraphrased that says "For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is JESUS CHRIST."
l0l, I didn't cry...
...FOR ONCE!!
But Samantha, one of my super-duper good friends from the youth group, went down front and asked for prayer requests...she was really confused about some stuff...and I'm so thankful God let her come...and equally thankful God allowed her friend, Katie, to get to come as well...man that girl is so cooooo-el!!!
We had a blast, made some pretty amazing shirts...I'll get some more pics up ASAP...my camera broke, so I'm stealing them from Katie and Sam and Maggie and the Shelbster, HAHA, l0l.
The theme was "Legos," talking about not being able to build on any foundation but Christ...1 Corinthians 3:10-11.... Paraphrased that says "For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is JESUS CHRIST."
The t-shirt design
The shirt I made...[front]...
...[back]
The speaker was Wesley Howell...been married a week before CHRISTeens...l0l, he couldn't stop telling us that! His wife is really pretty...she's from Brazil, he's from Alabama...L0L. He did an EXCELLENT job...especially Sunday morning, he was talking about "Where are the Leaders?" I really enjoyed that one.
The classes were good, well, I had 2 good ones and one okay one. I went to one where they taught us some new songs...AWESOME ones, l0l. One was a required class and that was the other good one...he was talking about going for what you really want...and the last one was "Hello, my name is..." talking about how people aren't just another name....why don't we talk to people? It was good in the sense that it really opened my eyes to some stuff, but we had just ate, and I was quite full and a little tired...but i stayed awake!
Anyway, it was lots of fun...I had an amazing time! Heather, I wish you could have gone, but maybe next year!! The theme for next year, by the way, is "The Body."
[&& me and brad are just friends. :)/:(...still a bit confused on that one, l0l]
However long the night, the dawn will break.
I certainly hope my dawn breaks soon....because these past two days have been really bad. Grr.
I don't know if that's just the way teenage hormones are supposed to be, or what, but Tuesday and today were just really DEPRESSED days for me...
I'm now entering the stage in the Brad thing where [in the past] things have always gone wrong. It's really hard living way out here, especially when you're not allowed to have ppl over, haven't been allowed to have people over since about 5th grade...he can't come see me, and, gas like it is, it's hard for my parents to let me go see him, because they have a hard time keeping both cars with enough gas in them.
And you know...i know they would let me go see him on school nights...but he never invites me. I hate inviting myself. I feel like the person i am inviting myself on doesn't really want me, or they would have thought of it first, right? idk...
I hear all the time about how teenagers are very easily depressed, because of their hormones, but I don't really agree with that...I think everyone is as susceptible to depression, everyone in the whole wide world. I think it shows in teens more because it's practically expected of them....if you're not upset or depressed or sad, then something is wrong with you! Bull-LOGNA! Teens also haven't really completely fallen into the trap society sets for adults...Saying adults are to know who they are and be happy and healthy in that knowledge...please, does anyone TRULY know who they are? or do you still find out new things about yourself everyday? "Adults who show depression just don't know about their life, or who they are, blah blah blah." Whatever. Everyone is as suseptible as everyone else, but it's not socially healthy for older members of society to display it...whereas it's nearly expected for teens to show it.
Oh, yeah, and my Louisiana aunt and uncle forgot my birthday.
L0L. I'm terrible at remembering birthdays, too, so I'm not upset. :)
I don't know if that's just the way teenage hormones are supposed to be, or what, but Tuesday and today were just really DEPRESSED days for me...
I'm now entering the stage in the Brad thing where [in the past] things have always gone wrong. It's really hard living way out here, especially when you're not allowed to have ppl over, haven't been allowed to have people over since about 5th grade...he can't come see me, and, gas like it is, it's hard for my parents to let me go see him, because they have a hard time keeping both cars with enough gas in them.
And you know...i know they would let me go see him on school nights...but he never invites me. I hate inviting myself. I feel like the person i am inviting myself on doesn't really want me, or they would have thought of it first, right? idk...
I hear all the time about how teenagers are very easily depressed, because of their hormones, but I don't really agree with that...I think everyone is as susceptible to depression, everyone in the whole wide world. I think it shows in teens more because it's practically expected of them....if you're not upset or depressed or sad, then something is wrong with you! Bull-LOGNA! Teens also haven't really completely fallen into the trap society sets for adults...Saying adults are to know who they are and be happy and healthy in that knowledge...please, does anyone TRULY know who they are? or do you still find out new things about yourself everyday? "Adults who show depression just don't know about their life, or who they are, blah blah blah." Whatever. Everyone is as suseptible as everyone else, but it's not socially healthy for older members of society to display it...whereas it's nearly expected for teens to show it.
Oh, yeah, and my Louisiana aunt and uncle forgot my birthday.
L0L. I'm terrible at remembering birthdays, too, so I'm not upset. :)
I'm an icon to the teenage underground world.
PHRASE TO PONDER:
"I want out of the labels. I don't want my whole life crammed into a single word. A story. I want to find something else, unknowable, some place to be that's not on the map. A real adventure. A sphinx. A mystery. A blank. Unknown. Undefined."
-JSTAR
RANDOM....thingie. I may use it later, but I find it very intriguing and slightly depressing. More intriguing though, which is why i like it.
Right, so this weekend was AMAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZING [thus far].
I will edit this after tomorrow, which is when my Valentine's Day is...{Brad had to skin out a buffalo on Valentine's Day...he's always cranky after he has to worko n something big, so I said forget it, let's do this Sunday night.}.
But yeah, an ex-friend and I became friends again.
I got to swim! ((--[!indoor pool!]--))
My team did better than we thought we would at the quizbowl thing...I had an average of 10 questions a game (that's 100 points, ppl, and our average score is 150-ish.)
I would like to thank Heather for the SOOPA-DOOPA sweet comment she left me...thankyouthankyouthankyou...It really meant a lot. ily! :]
anyway, I'll edit and add more about tomorrow...uh..TOMORROW!
EDITEDITEDITEDIT
Right, so yeah, my "Valentine's Day" was not so hot. It was wonderful to see Brad again...but all we did was watch some stupid Family Guy movie with his friends. Woooooooo.
And he said he was gonna actually take me out.
Hmph!
On a happier note, his "friends" buzzed his head, and now he looks silly.
That's what I call karma.
[kay, so that was a little mean. O'well.]
"I want out of the labels. I don't want my whole life crammed into a single word. A story. I want to find something else, unknowable, some place to be that's not on the map. A real adventure. A sphinx. A mystery. A blank. Unknown. Undefined."
-JSTAR
RANDOM....thingie. I may use it later, but I find it very intriguing and slightly depressing. More intriguing though, which is why i like it.
Right, so this weekend was AMAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZING [thus far].
I will edit this after tomorrow, which is when my Valentine's Day is...{Brad had to skin out a buffalo on Valentine's Day...he's always cranky after he has to worko n something big, so I said forget it, let's do this Sunday night.}.
But yeah, an ex-friend and I became friends again.
I got to swim! ((--[!indoor pool!]--))
My team did better than we thought we would at the quizbowl thing...I had an average of 10 questions a game (that's 100 points, ppl, and our average score is 150-ish.)
I would like to thank Heather for the SOOPA-DOOPA sweet comment she left me...thankyouthankyouthankyou...It really meant a lot. ily! :]
anyway, I'll edit and add more about tomorrow...uh..TOMORROW!
EDITEDITEDITEDIT
Right, so yeah, my "Valentine's Day" was not so hot. It was wonderful to see Brad again...but all we did was watch some stupid Family Guy movie with his friends. Woooooooo.
And he said he was gonna actually take me out.
Hmph!
On a happier note, his "friends" buzzed his head, and now he looks silly.
That's what I call karma.
[kay, so that was a little mean. O'well.]
Apathy Rant
Kay, so i'm going to rant.
WHY do people throw their lives away? I'm not talking about people in their 20s, and so on. I'm talking about people MY AGE. TEENAGERS. For instance...My class at school has, for the most part, worked very hard to become NATIONALLY recognized by one of the most respected high-school organizations in the country...after we leave, will the school fall to pieces? Some of next year's (08-09) seniors will work hard, i know they will, and I am so proud of every single one who does...but for the most part the classes below this year's (07-08) seniors just DON'T CARE.
Apathy is taking over the country!! Seriously, I know i am extrememly apathetic, perhaps a better word is lazy, compared to when i was younger. These little girls I baby-sit for do nothing all day...when I was their ages (7,8,9, and 11), my parents made me work...now they don't as much, but they still make me do clean my room/bathroom, do dishes, laundry, etc....these girls do absolutely nothing...Why? My dad is all the time talking about how my grandparents never let him do ANYTHING, but I get to do EVERYTHING...well, I pay for my activities, goshdangit!! He didn't have a job. Neither do I, I just win contests.
But, i digress.
WLC (Washinton Leadership Conference) taught me so many things...namely, that, to be a leader, you have to serve as well...It taught me that the best examples can be kids no older than myself, and even younger...I don't have to be an adult to unlock my potential...
I just dont want to sit around here anymore and watch the grass grow. I want to get out and do something to make my community, my country, my WORLD a better place...I want to give back a portion of everything that has been GIVEN to me...I don't pay for the people who love me, I don't pay for the BEST times I've ever had...I want other people, mainly small children who enjoy giving themselves swirlies (inside joke) to learn to love everyone like i TRY to...to want to give back...Is this dream too big?
I hope not.
WHY do people throw their lives away? I'm not talking about people in their 20s, and so on. I'm talking about people MY AGE. TEENAGERS. For instance...My class at school has, for the most part, worked very hard to become NATIONALLY recognized by one of the most respected high-school organizations in the country...after we leave, will the school fall to pieces? Some of next year's (08-09) seniors will work hard, i know they will, and I am so proud of every single one who does...but for the most part the classes below this year's (07-08) seniors just DON'T CARE.
Apathy is taking over the country!! Seriously, I know i am extrememly apathetic, perhaps a better word is lazy, compared to when i was younger. These little girls I baby-sit for do nothing all day...when I was their ages (7,8,9, and 11), my parents made me work...now they don't as much, but they still make me do clean my room/bathroom, do dishes, laundry, etc....these girls do absolutely nothing...Why? My dad is all the time talking about how my grandparents never let him do ANYTHING, but I get to do EVERYTHING...well, I pay for my activities, goshdangit!! He didn't have a job. Neither do I, I just win contests.
But, i digress.
WLC (Washinton Leadership Conference) taught me so many things...namely, that, to be a leader, you have to serve as well...It taught me that the best examples can be kids no older than myself, and even younger...I don't have to be an adult to unlock my potential...
I just dont want to sit around here anymore and watch the grass grow. I want to get out and do something to make my community, my country, my WORLD a better place...I want to give back a portion of everything that has been GIVEN to me...I don't pay for the people who love me, I don't pay for the BEST times I've ever had...I want other people, mainly small children who enjoy giving themselves swirlies (inside joke) to learn to love everyone like i TRY to...to want to give back...Is this dream too big?
I hope not.
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